whoaaaaa_pelly

Is anybody still on this website?

I've decided to start my life over.

don't get me wrong oblivion
i never loved you kiddo
you that was always sticking around
spoiling me for everyone else
telling me how it would make
you nutty if i didn't let you go the distance

and i gave you my breasts to feel
didn't i
and my mouth to kiss

o i was too good to you oblivion old kid. that's all
and when i might have told you
to go ahead and croak yourselflike
you was always threatening you was
going to do
i didn't
i said go on you inter-
east me
i let you hang around
and whimper

and i've been getting mine
listen

there's a fellow i love like i never loved anyone else that's six
foot two tall with a face any girl would die to kiss and a skin
like a little kitten's
that's asked me to go to Murray's tonight with him and see the cab-
aret and dance you know
well
if he asks me to take another i'm going to and if he asks me to take
another after that i'm going to do that and if he puts me into a taxi
and tells the driver to take her easy and steer for the morning i'm
going to let him and if he starts in right away putting it to me in
the cab
i'm not going to whisper

oblivion
do you get me
not that i'm tired of automats and Childs's and handing out ribbon to
old ladies that ain't got three teeth and be followed home by pimps
and stewed guys and sleeping lonely in a whitewashed room three thou-
sand below zero oh no
i could stand that
but it's that I'm O Gawd how tired
of seeing the white face of you and
feeling the old hands of you and
being teased and jollied about you
and being prayed and implored and
bribed and threatened
to give you my beautiful white body

kiddo
that's why

i have finally switched over to a new blog, but i may post in this from time to time if the mood strikes me.

dylan and i are attempting to get back together on the basis of his realization that he wants to marry me and thus has vowed to do everything in his power to prove himself worthy of me.

so far, so good. he came up to see my parents and intends to systematically kiss the asses of all of my friends. he has been calling me every night, and has sworn to cut back on drinking, and spend more time just chilling with me.

he told me he didnt care what happened in his life as long as i was in it, and if that meant moving to europe and making butter in sketchy alleyways, he would do it.

so we'll see. as usual, my love for him makes me too easy.

anyway, my new blog is at the following address:

http://yeskayla.blogspot.com/

but like i said i may continue to post updates on here, at least for a little while. and i will definitely continue to read all your journals.

bad things are happening this week. :(

Breakfast was pretty great. I couldn't read him really well because he was shy, but he facebook messaged me two hours later and gave me his number and said he was free next week, and then asked for mine.

Haha I assume that's a good sign?

Two posts in one day because I thought this was of interest to all livejournal users, as this happened to me today:

http://www.guidetoworlddomination.com/2008/10/aim-coho-salmon-trout-bots/

it happened to me before as well, but I finally got to the bottom of it. I met a guy named Hao from Massachusetts. I shit you not.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Anyway, the idea that its a social experiment is kind of soothing. At least its not a virus. I was worried about that.

If a Coho IMs you, introduce yourself! It's curious.

I told myself I would stop talking to Dylan but I want to SOOOOO bad.

Grrrr.

A
- Available: yes
- Age: 20
- Annoyance: animal breeding class
- Animal: birds, horses, dogs, wildlife

B
- Beer: don't drink anymore.
- Birthday: may 13
- Best Friends: allie, eva, maeghan, tam
- Body Part on opposite sex: nipples, and shoulders.
- Best feeling in the world: i agree with peeing.
- Best weather: 85
- Been in Love: yes
- Been on stage?: yes
- Believe in Magic: no
- Believe in God: no
- Believe in Santa: no

C
- Candy: chocolate covered cherries
- Color: blue, brown
- Chocolate/Vanilla: usually chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: chinese
- Cake or pie: cake.
- Continent/Country to visit: i can never decide.
- Cheese: port wine cheese

D
- Day or Night: both.
- Dance in the rain?: sure unless its windy.

E
- Eggs: im craving poached eggs.
- Eyes: brown
- Everyone's got a(n): cell or two (sorry maura, but worms don't have lungs!)
- Ever failed a class?: no

F
- Full name: kayla suzanne pelletier
- First thoughts waking up: i'm usually in a good mood when i wake up
- Food: LOVE IT

G
- Greatest Fear: heights, being pinned down
- Goals: learn as much as possible and fall in love again.
- Gum: as long as its mint
- Get along with your parents?: yes
- Good luck charm: dont have one.

H
- Hair Color: brown
- Height: 5'6"
- Happy: not yet, but i plan on it.
- Holiday: thanksgiving
- How do you want to die: sleeping.

I
- Ice Cream: cookies and cream
- Instrument: i cant.

J
- Jewelry: um, a rope bracelet.
- Job: kennel assistant, resident assistant. i just like to assist, apparently.

K
- Kids: hopefully but we'll see.
- Kickboxing or karate: i know hodgepodge fighting from mike.
- Keep a journal?: duh.

L
- Longest Car Ride: florida.
- Love: turns corners.
- Letter: ....
- Laughed so hard you cried: my everyday goal.

M
- Milk flavor: coffee
- Movies: im addicted to netflix.
- Motion sickness?: i read in the car.
- McD’s or BK: neitherrr

N
- Number of Siblings: 1
- Number of Piercings: 0
- Number: i dont know.

O
- One wish: to have the courage to get over dylan.

P
- Perfect Pizza: mushroom and possibly chicken.
- Pepsi/Coke: noo.

Q
- Quail: i love quails.

R
- Reason to cry: crying is good for you.
- Reality T.V.: i love it.
- Radio Station: i just listen to pandora a lot.
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: yes
- Ring size: not sure?

S
- Song: it changes every day.
- Shoe size: 8.5
- Salad Dressing: french, lately.
- Sushi: delicious.
- Skipped school: all the time.
- Slept outside: yes.
- Skinny dipped?: i wish
- Shower daily?: yes
- Sing well?: haha i'm alright.
- In the shower?: yes.
- Swear?: lately i have
- Strawberries/Blueberries: blueberries.

T
- Time for bed: when i pass out
- Thunderstorms: love them

U
- Unpredictable: it would be nice

V
- Vacation spot: somewhere exciting.

W
- Weakness: dylan's shoulders, and his smile (not like he ever smiles these days).
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: none of them, really.
- Who makes you laugh the most: tammy, eva, kaleb, bobby
- Worst feeling: broken hearts, of course.
- Wanted to be a model?: i thought about it once, and then remembered i was short.
- Where do we go when we die?: the ground.
- Worst Weather?: winddd. yes.

X
- X-Rays: i've developed more than i've personally had.
- Ex's: jared, joe, dylan.

Y
- Year it is now: 2008
- Yellow: is okay.

Z
- Zoo animal: talking parrots.

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you?: dylan
2. You went to the mall with?: tammy
3. You went to dinner with?: skylar and jon?
4. You talked to on the phone?: tammy
5. Made you laugh?: tammy
6. Hugged you?: candice.
7. Said they loved you? allison
8. Held your hand?: dylan
9. Spoke with? tammy
10. You cried over?: dylan.

Now its just a sorry sorry addiction. I can't stay away from him. I'm pitiful. But anyway, I think I'm getting strep throat yet again. Glorious.

I logged onto flickr.com today, because I love that website. At the top of the page every day they have a greeting in a different language (Bonjour! now you know how to greet people in French!). Today I logged on and it said:

O HAI! Now you know how to greet people in LOLspeak.

haha.







P.s. I voted today. And talked to Dylan. I don't know what I've learned.

Dylan helped me BIG TIME in studying for the aquaculture test. I still feel desirous of him. I'm so confused.

I had to take two birth control pills today because I have been forgetting to take them. It doesn't really matter.

Two nights ago Dylan slept over and I asked him what was it in his life that made him tick. What about Aquaculture did he love the best? Did he love aeration, did he love algal culture? He shrugged and said nothing really, he just went to class.

It hit me that there was something very wrong with us.

I want someone who is passionate about life.

A lady in need is guilty indeed.

Something in me knew it.  Knew it that night.  I took a shower and cried into it, came back and he stirred and asked me why I was upset.

Last night after several heated discussions we ended things.  Each of us for our own reasons.  He said he would probably realize his mistake and in a week would be pining after me again.  "Its so hard to see you and not want you."  I told him I wanted him too.  And yet we agreed that the misery would just never end.

I'm upset and relieved and jealous and anxious and optimistic all together.  But I do not want to be that girl that just goes back and forth and never claims her life and never gets what she deserves.

We're trying.

So Dylan and I had tea and watched a movie tonight. He said he would like more "tea and movie" nights. ????

Me and Dylan hung out for 2 and a half hours tonight while I was on duty. He wanted to make me some tea for when I got back from my rounds (at 1:30) but I told him I would take a raincheck.

:-/ someone tell me what this is.

i made a blog in wordpress that im going to fiddle with for a little while. i may end up moving there. stay tuned.

Since Chuck had canceled Reproduction this morning, I didn't even attempt to get out of bed until Skylar called me at 8:45. "Did I wake you?" he asked jokingly. "Yeah..." I mumbled. He laughed and invited me to breakfast. And so began my day. Walking back from breakfast Skylar asked me what it would be like to get shot with a musket, and maybe it was the early morning, or maybe the idea of getting hit with a musket ball, but it had us laughing so hard that when Dylan and Sonja walked by, I felt like the only person in the world worthy of being jealous of, rather than the other way around. Skylar was spitting his water into the grass because he was laughing so hard, and I just couldn't help but feel good, and reassured that life was certainly better now.

By the time I was sitting in Dr. Kass's class, I was tired for some reason, and Abby and I both fell asleep side by side in the front row, missing the entire lecture on cardiac muscles. In an effort to stay awake in Breeding, we bought iced coffees, which only made us leisurely and we chatted through Breeding, pissing off Leah and probably Congleton as well.

I was relieved to get out of class for the afternoon, and I beelined for the library where I picked up a copy of Princess of Cleves. Getting new books to read is always satisfying.

4:00 was the Hart vs. Hancock vs. Oak Kickball game. Though Oak was severely outnumbered we whalloped Hancock, much to Josh's visible dismay. Hart gave us a beating but our spirits didn't falter. For a building whos residents almost never show their faces, the comraderie in our little team was brilliant. Devin and Holly made a remarkable scene of catching every ball they attempted, and Matt and Chad played with especial gumption. Everyone else was equally positive and pleased with themselves. Someone suggested we should have worn matching shirts. I was beaming. Being their illustrious Captain was maybe my only claim to fame, as my ball-kicking did not prove particularly valuable, though I scored one point. Solid evidence:




I picked Maeghan up after the kickball game and we went shopping. I bought an assload of Black Tea, a healthy strategy for staying awake in class. I also bought some Aloe Vera shampoo in hopes of curing my hair from its "falling out" fetish.

I watched "Into the Valley of Elah" later on and its a wonderful movie. James makes an appearance in it but that's not why it's wonderful.

I am quite sure one of my residents has a crush on me. :-/

I have finally found someone worth living for.

me. :)

i had a dream that some boy held me at knifepoint but i didn't flinch. and eventually he gave in and dropped the knife and hugged me.

i think it was a fitting dream, but i cant explain to you how or why i think that. it just feels right.